we all need a little perspective sometimes. and for me, once i write out how dumb things in my brain are sometimes, i gain a little bit of perspective. so my dear friends, this prescriptive entry is not for you; it’s for me.
so, David Letterman style: (yes i know he normally has 10. i’m not THAT angry. my goodness, people.)
5. a luke-warm shower. so, i live in a building that, at capacity, can hold 680 people. in this building, we have suite-style bathrooms, one for every 4 people. so that’s roughly (and by ‘roughly’ i mean ‘hold on, i’m getting my calculator’) 170 showers. and when there are 680 little minions running around this building, causing mayhem and giving me grey hair, they clean off by using those 170 showers. which causes the hot water to run freely throughout the entire building. when they are gone (like right now, during summertime), the water goes from hot to not. it goes from ‘this feels so good i never want to leave’ to ‘i cannot even breathe deeply because the icy water will freeze my lungs.’ it goes from ‘i shower daily’ to ‘for emergency use only.’ perspective: i love me some hot showers. i really truly do. i could stay in there for an hour if the temperature is right. but the fact is: there are people — millions of people — all over the world who have never felt the stream of running water. even in America, there are people who cannot afford the bill that comes with their steamy shower, so they have to go without. so yes, my showers are cold-ish. but i am damn lucky to even have a faucet that turns on.
4. spending money. this one is super dumb. we live in a society that requires we spend money in order to live. there really isn’t any way to get around it. if you want food, ya gotta pay. if you wanna live somewhere, you gotta pay. and so on down the line. and yet, i cringe every time i swipe my debit card. not because i’m worried it’ll overdraft (okay sometimes yes.) but because i literally hate spending money. it makes me mad. i get mad that i don’t make more, or have less student loans, or blah blah. perspective: there are people who would kill to have a paycheck to put into a checking account to spend with their debit card and cringe over. i am employed with a job i love completely. this was the Prayer Of 2009 — and it was answered. and i have a paycheck. and i have benefits. and i never go hungry or roofless. i have never been without money to spend, no matter how mad it makes me sometimes.
3. pandora commercials. okay i know, all you Spotify-ers, i’m like waaaaay behind the times. i use pandora when i am lazy and i don’t want to have to choose all my songs individually. that and i somehow can’t get spotify to work properly on my office computer. either way, when i am just coming off the high from “flowers in your hair” by the Lumineers, i do not want to hear about LA’s amazing deals on brand new mitsubishis or whatever. plus, I DON’T LIVE IN SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA ANYMORE. quit rubbing it in. perspective: GTFOver it, rachel.
2. traffic. okay this doesn’t anger me as much as it baffles me. why is there traffic? no, really. why? if everyone would just keep going, shouldn’t it prevent the parking-lot-affect on the highway? i mean, is there some idiot in the front somewhere who’s slowing down everything for the rest of us? why don’t they just go the speed limit + 10mph like the rest of us? perspective: in my car, i am the best vocalist in the world. and my captivated audience (my steering wheel) is 100% mesmerized as i ballad my way through my iTunes playlist.
:: drumroll ::
1. So here it is, the number one stupid thing that makes me mad: when people don’t read my mind. sometimes, i think about something that you said that irritated me earlier. it may have been your tone, it may have been a loaded statement, it may have been that my orange juice was sour that morning. whatever the case, i think about it. and think and think and think. and i think of all the ways you could have said it better. so i dwell on how things could have gone if only you had said it differently. i script out all the ways i’m going to tell you so, too. and it’s like a snowball (except it’s hot and fiery because i am MAD) in my brain, and by the time we even get around to talking, your very breath makes me livid. “hey, how are you?” “OH, HOW AM I?! HOW CONVENIENT OF YOU TO ASK ME THAT.” and then: ‘splosion. i absolutely cannot believe you didn’t read my mind to know exactly how i have been feeling all flippin day. RUDE FEST 2012. perspective: here’s a word to the wiser-than-me’s out there: unspoken expectations go unmet every. single. time. similarly, unspoken feelings go unaddressed every time, without fail. if you are mad at someone, tell them. if your feelings have been hurt, let them know. if you are so wrapped up in feeling all of your feelings that you cannot tell which way is up, you might want to open your mouth and talk about it.