new new new. [<3]

October 20, 2012 in marriage, my story, stories with 0 Comments

my life has been going at full speed for the last two months, and i haven’t had much time to be on here. i also haven’t had much time to go to the gym, but i’d still like to avoid that for a little while.

so, what’s new?? :)

1. i got married! it’s still a crazy sentence to say out loud, and the words “husband” and “newlywed” still feel strange on my lips. but this is the best kind of strange, in my opinion.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

it went by as fast as everyone said it would, and it was just as much fun as i could have ever hoped! i had an amazing week surrounded by all of my favorite people in the world, and it was such a humbling, refreshing, much-needed (but not at all deserved) time of pure blessing. we laughed, we cried (well, mainly Jared! ;) ), and we have stories to last us forever. i pray God was glorified, and i trust He’ll bring honor to His name even through the moments when i failed to do my part.

2. naturally, Jared moved in! i was reminded of a scene from Friends in the weeks approaching my wedding. you know where Monica is moving in with Chandler and they’ve planned it for awhile, and suddenly she realizes…”I have to live with a BOY!?” yeah…kind of like that. we packed up his belongings, along with all our NEW belongings (!!), and somehow managed to fit everything into our apartment. it took an entire weekend but this place is finally starting to feel like home. and waking up with your best friend just makes so much sense, and fills me in the deepest way.

3. work is better than ever. while i was depressed that we actually had to leave our all-inclusive five-star resort, i was definitely missing my students hard core. i’m so richly blessed to be surrounded by such energetic, enthusiastic, and downright hilarious people all the time. college kids are truly the most exciting people to work with; always changing, always learning, and always teaching me how to live young. i can’t imagine myself anywhere else for this season; part of me doesn’t want it to ever end.

4. but my heart is beginning to feel ready to move on. i will celebrate two years here on november first. two years in this job, with these great people, in this awkward state. it’s hard to believe how much has changed since i drove 700 miles in my nissan sentra with everything i owned and absolutely no plan in the world. i’ve thus far lived my life in semesters and sets of 6 months, so it’s a wonder i’ve lasted this long here. but i can feel a longing in my spirit for something different, and soon. i want to work a city, advocating women’s rights…or i want to work at starbucks and spend my free time writing a book…or i want to enroll in seminary to learn how to better love women in the name of Jesus. i want more, just like i always do. and now that i have a forever-partner-in-crime, we can’t wait to start on our long list of adventures! so a transition may be in my near future. and while i do enjoy those deep orange Texas sunsets, i’m excited for some prettier landscape.

5. i would like to formally thank whoever invented the crockpot. i feel as though i’ve become an amazing cook overnight, all because i’ve learned the secret of combing frozen chicken + at least 6 things in my pantry in order to eat the best meal of my life. and they just. keep. getting. better. Jared and i are absolutely loving our home-cooked-meals-and-leftovers lifestyle. lime cilantro shredded chicken tacos? no problem. cuban style pulled pork sandwiches? i could do it with my eyes closed.

 

so, there you are. five new things about my life. i’m excited to settle into my new routine, and to regain control of my creative outlet. i am already learning so much and i can’t wait to write it all out. because i tend to remember things i write out. :)

love to you all. xxo.

morning [truth.]

August 31, 2012 in lessons learned with 0 Comments

“One hour of losing heart does us harm from which it takes us days to recover. Yielding to disheartenment, even only once, may be the beginning of a weakening process that shall grow into a habit in us, the end of which shall be the loss of all power to be brave and strong any more. The greatest kindness any teacher can do to those he teaches is to help them always to live a life of faith and courage – a victorious life.”  - J.R. Miller

marriage thoughts [before marriage.]

August 19, 2012 in 20-something troubles, lessons learned, marriage, my story, stories with 12 Comments

people keep telling me that marriage is a lot of work. they say that the first year is by far the hardest, that the transition is, at times, unbearably painful, and that being married to someone else is going to leave me breathless, exhausted, and sometimes even questioning if i’ve made the right decision.

as you may expect, these precautions are leaving me with a healthy dose of fear and trembling.

it’s like they want me to be waiting for ‘the other shoe to drop’, like they will quietly giggle as they watch me live in anxiety, checking every corner to find brokenness in my marriage. they scorn my naivete and constantly tell me ‘oh just you wait’ and my paranoia grows and grows. and they strip the joy out of marriage, simply because theirs has been hard and i frankly don’t know any better. they tell me that simple love lasts only through the honeymoon and then it’s all over over over.

well, on that i call bullshit.

i am an incurable optimist; i tell my students this all the time. i believe in the good and i believe in change. and i’m as stubborn as they ever come — persuasive and persistent to no end. because i never want to not believe in the good.

of course i understand it will be difficult at times. LIFE is difficult at times. but the difference between healthy love and unhealthy love is this: healthy love is hard work + simple. unhealthy love is hard work + complicated.

and every day marriage is a choice.

and just because yours is hard, does not mean mine will be.

please do not speak such lies over my marriage, over my heart, over my life. your promise of my failure only looms like a storm that is unpredictable and scary.

and i am not scared.

i am sure.

and in 39 days [but who's counting?] i will be able to test out my own stubborn sure-ness, and i am not going to do it while waiting for my own failure to choke me. day by day, the air of freedom will fill my lungs.

i can hardly wait.

judge yourself based on your opportunities. [twenty truths]

July 27, 2012 in 20-something troubles, lessons learned, stories with 0 Comments

Twenty-Something Truths For Twenty-Somethings 

truth number [20] today from the blog series hosted by myself and my dear friend Kristin! please join the conversation as we continue to unpack our twenties, and the truths we have found thus far. what have you learned? <3 <3 <3

~~~

Judge yourself based on your opportunities, not based on someone else’s opportunities.

 

 

If you’re like me, you spend the better part of the week wrapped in jealousy over her job or his house or their income. You take a disgusted look at your life and wish you had been given their opportunities because you would totally be living it up right now. But that isn’t the point at all.

No one else has been given the opportunities you have been given.

The point is to be faithful to the opportunities you have been given. Your job, your income, your situation, your city, your haircut. It is not what we say about our blessings, but it is what we do with them, that shows our true gratitude. So if you’re thankful in the bottom of your heart, show it. Stop creeping her Facebook out of envy, and start an assessment of your own circumstances. Are you being a good steward of the path you’ve been given?

your worth is greater than what they’re paying you. [twenty truths]

July 25, 2012 in 20-something troubles, jesus, my story with 1 Comment

Twenty-Something Truths For Twenty-Somethings 

truth number [18] today from the blog series hosted by myself and my dear friend Kristin! please join the conversation as we continue to unpack our twenties, and the truths we have found thus far. what have you learned? <3 <3 <3

~~~

Your worth is greater than what they’re paying you

 

 

Sometimes, you get a 6-figure college degree and you end up serving drinks to creepy men for 2 years, living off the generosity of perfect strangers. And sometimes, the only things you can put on your resume are “a disarming smile,” and, “a genuine concern for others.” Your worth is not defined by what your paycheck says, or what kind of clothing you can afford. Your worth = already determined by our loving God who sees you through Jesus’ sacrifice. Your worth = your character, which is built on an identity firmly rooted in the gospel. Your worth = determined by no other person, place, or thing than Jesus Christ. That’s a paycheck I am happy to cash.

16. beating yourself up over your past choices does nothing. [twenty truths]

July 23, 2012 in 20-something troubles, lessons learned, stories with 2 Comments

Twenty-Something Truths For Twenty-Somethings 

truth number [16] today from the blog series hosted by myself and my dear friend Kristin! please join the conversation as we continue to unpack our twenties, and the truths we have found thus far. what have you learned? <3 <3 <3

 

~~~

 

Beating yourself up over your past choices will do absolutely nothing to help you today.

 

That job? That boyfriend? Those clothes?

Sometimes when we play the ‘highlight reel’ of our lives, we omit the good and only remember the bad. And we beat, beat, beat ourselves up over those things. This has to stop! You did the best that you could with what you had to work with at the time, and it got you to where you are today, right now, in this very moment. Do not criticize who you were; this is the nature of being an evolving person. You are different now, and sure! You’d probably make different choices today. But don’t dishonor your past by blaming it for today. Be proud of every part of your history – even the dumb stuff. Because the dumb stuff (even the repeated dumb stuff) makes your smart stuff that much more important.

 

And we learn to do better. Slowly, surely, we learn.

being uncertain does not make you weak. [twenty truths]

July 21, 2012 in 20-something troubles, creative fiction, lessons learned, my story, stories with 1 Comment

Twenty-Something Truths For Twenty-Somethings 

truth number [14] today from the blog series hosted by myself and my dear friend Kristin! please join the conversation as we continue to unpack our twenties, and the truths we have found thus far. what have you learned? <3 <3 <3

~~~

Being uncertain does not make you weak.

 

 

It means you know the gravity of your decisions, and you have learned the result of making bad ones. Life, as you will realize, is a series of choices. Hundreds of opportunities approach us every single day and we are constantly making steps forward and backward, toward or away from who and where we want to be. It’s okay to feel the weight of this; we should be feeling it.

Too many twenty-somethings are still as frivolous as when they were 15, making jokes at other people’s expense, spending money like crazy, and choosing blue eye shadow. We know now that choosing a job or a credit card or a relationship might affect a big chunk of your life, and might have emotional repercussions. And usually the worst decisions are made because we feel pressured to just choose SOMETHING, so we choose the first thing that comes along. We are scared of the uncertain feeling, and it makes us feel like we aren’t doing something right.

Friends, be brave with your choices. Live in the questions for as long as you feel uncertain. Explore the corners of your heart that are scared, or worried. Let yourself feel the breadth of all of those emotions, so that when you finally make a choice you will step confidently, without fear. It may take you longer to choose than some of your friends, and that is okay. You are fully able to see the forest through the trees, and you know what it takes to make it out in one piece.

It’s not that you don’t know what it takes to be an adult; it’s that you do. Congratulations; you’ve arrived.

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