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using our [words.]

June 16, 2012 in 20-something troubles, bible verses, jesus with 2 Comments

i don’t think we understand the power of our words, and it truly grieves my soul.

[and fear not; the irony of this post is not lost on me.]

i entered the ‘blogosphere’ a couple years ago, and through that i have followed several people with rather large platforms, preaching their message over the mountain and through the woods. and honestly? it’s hard not to get discouraged by some of the things people actually have the guts to say. because i think we have soooo lost the point. i think we spend so much time preaching and arguing, hating and retweeting the hate, that we actually have lost touch with life’s purpose: to love freely and give fully. selflessly.

instead, we have criticism over everything everyone is doing, Christian or otherwise. no one can create anything anymore, because there are 300 people waiting to rejoice in their failures, and waiting to share opinions over how wrong they are. we aren’t sharing in one another’s burdens anymore; we are openly laughing at them.

we have women leaders leveraging their following to bash planned parenthood, an organization devoted to the health and care of women, using lies and manipulation. thousands will lose affordable healthcare — please note i said ‘healthcare’, not ‘abortion’; planned parenthood does more than that — if you continue to fight for their destruction.

we have pastors, publicly calling men and women of the LGBT community ‘less than human’, ‘despicable’, and an ‘abomination.’ until you know first hand what it’s like to feel 100% attracted to the same sex and 100% devoted to Jesus fully, you should probably keep your stones in your pocket.

we have mouthy Christians, expending all their time and energy on proving the ‘rightness’ or ‘wrongness’ of so many different issues i can’t keep them all straight. you are fighting the wrong battle, and trying to take down the wrong kingdom. legalizing or abolishing anything will not change anything.

we have pastors speaking over my life, telling me that the images in my husband’s head will never go away, and that sins of my past will forever be carved in the walls of my heart. how dare you put God in a box like that. last i checked, He makes all things new.

and we have women — countless women — speaking to our girls, telling them that the integrity of their character is measured by the length of their skirts, and to wear anything revealing is to be damning their brothers to sin. how dare you give a young girl the responsibility of anyone else’s sin but her own. and how dare you add to an already very loud world that says she is worth nothing more than what it looks like she is worth. it matters who you are, not who it looks like you are. if i tell someone about Jesus with my cleavage showing, does it still count?

 

people have become so hateful, so publicly hateful. arguments are everywhere, and they are unending. and i am just so sick of it already.

 

“I have given them the glory that you gave me, that they may be one as we are one — I in them and you in me—so that they may be brought to complete unity. Then the world will know that you sent me and have loved them even as you have loved me.” John 17:22-23

me + love.

April 24, 2012 in 20-something troubles, bible verses, jesus, lessons learned with 6 Comments

love is kind of a big deal.

it’s the basis of all we are supposed to know and believe. it’s the lens through which we are to see the world, and it’s the foundational principal we all build our lives on. out of love we are born, and into love we must grow. Jesus was brutally honest about what love is, how to love, and what love looks like.

love is kind of a big deal. and lately i kind of suck at it.

 

i was impatient with someone last night. he asked me a question i thought everyone in the world knew the answer to, and i grew impatient in my response. i was agitated and heated. i was incredibly impatient.

but love is patient.

when i responded to him, i was sarcastic. i am but a small woman, and sometimes all i have are my words — and i can use them well. so i did. i drew my sarcastic fist like a weapon, and i punched straight to the heart. i saw in his eyes that he knew my weapon was meant for harm, not good. it was meant to be mean, not kind.

but love is kind.

i was jealous of someone last week. i was jealous down to my bones that they dare received the recognition i so rightly deserved. i went on to divulge my thoughts about how rightly i deserved that recognition. i described in detail all the ways i deserved it, and then plainly presented all the logical reasons for the misplaced recognition. and i was proud of the explanation i came up with, because even i was convinced that the root of my jealousy was not pride.

but love does not envy, it does not boast, and it is not proud.

it took me four sentences to get angry at her today. i can usually keep it  at bay for longer than that, but today she did not stand a chance. i slipped into the thoughts of all the ways i felt i deserve to be treated by her, and i got even more angry. and as my anger quickened, i remembered every pain she has caused, every fight she has been the center of, and every kind word she has never said to me. i tallied them up in my head and scorned her for each tick mark.

but love does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 

the truth is “blessed are the peacemakers.”
the truth is “turn the other cheek.”
the truth is “forgive as your Father forgave you.”
the truth is “pray for your enemy.”

evil says “karma is a bitch.”

but love does not rejoice in evil; it rejoices with the truth.

lately it has been hard for me to love. it has been a challenge to extend kindness and patience to people who don’t measure up in my book. it has been hard to forgive. it’s been a challenge to choose love.

i have failed at love lately.

 

but love? it never fails. 

the sweet spot [what a girl needs to hear]

April 14, 2012 in 20-something troubles, bible verses, jesus, lessons learned, stories with 3 Comments

[about the author] my name is Emily. I am a 24-yr-old graduate student from Atlanta. I’m getting my Masters in Marriage and Family Therapy with specializations in Christian Sex Therapy and Addictions. While not reading one of the never-ending list of books to read I blog over at www.emilylorin.com [blog is down for a little while...come back soon!], I nanny, and I teach Zumba. I write about Christ, relationships, sex/culture, girl things, kids [not my own], love, and my cute pup, Henry [he's just an added bonus]. I love art, photography, great food, music, and baking, which are also sprinkled throughout my blog. I write to understand and to share what I’ve learned and am constantly learning about love and grace and life and beauty. Twitter is: @emlorin

~~~
There is a kind of spot in life that I had never considered until now: the sweet spot.

What is the sweet spot?

It is a space, a feeling. It is a way of thinking. It is a belief. The space where you live out of love and not out of fear. Where you walk the tight rope between too much and too little. Where you live out loud and with passion.

Growing up Southern Baptist, in a small town, with plenty of rules to not break so I didn’t go straight to Hell, I have spent the majority of my life living out of fear.  Fear of going to Hell. Fear of disappointing God. Fear of being rejected. Fear of disappointing…anyone. (Do you know how hard it is to live life and not disappoint anyone? …It’s a pretty difficult situation.)

The problem with living out of fear is that you never get to truly live. You are never allowed to breath for fear of doing something wrong. And when that’s the place you live, you sacrifice living itself. You sacrifice loving. You sacrifice intimacy. Intimacy with others and with God.

No one ever told me I didn’t have to fear. No one told me I was safe and free.

“I will lie down and rest in peace, for you alone, Oh lord, make me dwell in safety.” Psalm 4:8

Don’t get me wrong there is puh-lenty to be scared of in this world.
Disease. Heartbreak. Abuse. Being robbed. Being abandoned. Getting into a car crash. Losing a loved one. Being mistreated by people you trust.

The point is not all the reasons we have to be fearful, but the one giant reason we are given to not be fearful: Jesus.

In light of Jesus, all other things are bearable. (I’m not saying it changes the inherent negative, painful, or otherwise, wrong nature of these things.)

This is how God showed his love for us: God sent his only Son into the world so we might live through him. This is the kind of love we are talking about—not that we once upon a time loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as a sacrifice to clear away our sins and the damage they’ve done to our relationship with God.

This is how we know we’re living steadily and deeply in him, and he in us: He’s given us life from his life, from his very own Spirit.
There is no room in love for fear. Well-formed love banishes fear. Since fear is crippling, a fearful life—fear of death, fear of judgment—is one not yet fully formed in love.
We, though, are going to love—love and be loved. First we were loved, now we love. He loved us first.

You are loved. You are so deeply loved and cared for that God – GOD, God of the universe, God who created air, water, God who painted the land with beauty, God who created you – He sent His Son, His own flesh, to die for you. He paid the price so that you could live free from fear.
Dear sister, you are so deeply cherished and adored. You are a jewel. You are a precious gem. You are freakin’ awesome.
The King “is enthralled by your beauty.” (Psalm 45:11)

And that gives you much freedom…for there is no fear in love.
You are free to live beyond the restraints imposed by others. You are free to be the girl, lady, woman you were created to be – the one you want to be. You were made for a purpose. A great purpose. Your life was created intentionally and not by accident. And it was made to be lived by You and directed by You.
You and Christ alone are to set the standards you live by. Not culture. Not your parents. Not your peers. Not that cute guy in class. Others’ opinions and words (although may cause real pain) are not the end-all sentence on your life.
You will disappoint others. You will hurt others. You will fall short of others expectations multiple times throughout your life. And that. is. okay.
Your life is not to be spent in earning others’ approval.
Your life has been paid for at a steep price.
You are worthy.

So please live within the freedom you’ve been granted. Don’t hide behind someone else’s lies.
Your inherent value can neither be upped nor degraded based on the actions you make. So live in the freedom of knowing you are loved. Live a life worthy of it. Don’t take second best because you’re afraid “best” won’t come along. Don’t sell yourself short. Take the risks. Be adventurous. Think outside the box.

Find the sweet spot where you claim your value, your beauty, your worth, your perfect imperfections, your imperfect perfections, and your life and live it boldly.
…because you have been made with sweet and good intent.  

beauty lessons. [what a girl needs to hear]

April 9, 2012 in bible verses, jesus, lessons learned, stories with 0 Comments

[about the author] Today’s post is by Elena Pellizzaris, writer, reader, teacher, lover of Jesus. She spends most of her days serving by teaching orphans in Liberia, West Africa. She works for Orphan Relief and Rescue (www.orphanreliefandrescue.org) and blogs at Stumbling In Grace. You can also find her on Facebook.

 

~~~

 

I am 28 years old, and this year was the first in my entire life that someone called me beautiful.

When I heard those words, I literally wept. Those words were like water for my thirsty soul. For as far back as I can remember, classmates and culture and even people who were supposed to love me have been making me feel not enough.

Maybe you can relate. Maybe you have spent years wondering what’s wrong with you, why you don’t measure up, why people treat you the way that they do.
Sweet girl, please hear me: you are fearfully and wonderfully made. God knew what He was doing when He created you, and He has made every single part of you well. You are a masterpiece, and your so-called flaws only add to your beauty. It was the delight of the Father to knit you together. You are enough, just as you are.

You are a beautiful soul with a beautiful story, and the world needs you because you make it a better place by just being alive. People and circumstances may try to dull your colors; they may try to smudge up the parts of you that were made to sparkle and shine. But nothing that the world throws at you is enough to cover up who you were created to be: a thoroughly beautiful woman created in the hands of a God who is head-over-heels-in-love with you.

And yes, I know that life can be hard sometimes; trust me, I have had my fair share of heartache and pain, of crying myself to sleep at night, of wondering how I was going to even make it out of bed in the morning. You are not alone, and no matter what dark days you are going through, there is beauty and light on the other side. I promise you.

I want you to do something. I want you to take a moment and look at yourself in the mirror. Don’t criticize. Don’t start pointing out everything about yourself that you wish were different. Just look for a moment. The exact shade of your eyes was selected by God, and your eyes, they are beautiful. The shape of your face, the color and texture of your hair: beautiful. The way your lips curve up when they smile, the laugh lines, the wrinkles, the freckles–they’re all beautiful. The curves of your body, the color of your skin: none of these are flaws. None of them are mistakes. They are what make you you; they are what make you unique. They make you beautiful.

Maybe, like me, no one has ever said those things to you before. If so, they may be hard for you to accept. But dear girl, they are true. Psalm 45:11 says that the King is enthralled by your beauty. That means that you, beautiful you, have completely captured His heart.

I don’t know how old you are, and I don’t know how many times you have heard this before. But I’m going to say it again, because it’s something that all of us women need to hear, need to remember, need to write down on the tablets of our hearts:

You are beautiful.

promises to cling to. [what a girl needs to hear]

March 25, 2012 in bible verses, dating, jesus, lessons learned, stories with 1 Comment

today’s post comes from Whitney, and i have no words — it is simply beautiful. read it slowly, like a nap.
[about the author] “hi. my name’s whitney and i’m just an ordinary girl from the south. this is a little glimpse into what i’m learning while living life here in a broken world. life is messy, but i’m starting to see the beauty and purpose of the mess.”
whitney’s blog: www.livinginthemess.blogspot.com

whitney’s twitter: www.twitter.com/whitneyeburger
~~~
To a hurting little girl, screaming to be heard:

For all of those times you’ve cried yourself to sleep, I’m sorry. I’m sorry for not reminding you that your Father’s love runs deeper and holds more security than any earthly kind of love. 

The love of a mother who loves alcohol more than you. She can help it- but it has a stronghold on her life that Satan gets much joy from. He also gets much joy from you, sweet girl, thinking that you aren’t valued- not even by your own mother. These are all lies. She DOES love you; unfortunately it is tainted by the alcohol, but the love IS there.

The love of a father whose words are empty. You are important, desired, and valued. No matter how often he will give you empty promises- don’t let the desire to be cared for eat away your sweet spirit inside. God, the Father, cares for you deeply. He has dreams for you. He loves to hear you laugh. He likes to see you dance in your recitals. He gets joy in hearing your stories at night. When you feel sick, He brings comfort and healing- opposed to laughing at you when you can’t control your upset stomach. I know that its painful to hear stories and see other little girls get wrapped up in their daddy’s arms- that you desire so badly to have a man fight for you. To protect you. To build you up. To tell you that you’re beautiful. In the midst of the hurt and pain of being let down- You’ve been missing the whispers of the only Father’s voice who can actually bring life to these desires.

The love of boys who have yet to become men. In Satan’s attempt to tell you that your own family doesn’t really love you… that other things are more important, you’ve sought the love and approval of anyone that might begin to fill that void. Forgetting to look up, you looked to the boys around you- desiring to be heard and cared for. These boys didn’t intentionally mean to hurt you; I think deep down they did care about you the best way they knew how. Unfortunately, even though they knew how to throw out the right phrases and comments leading you to believe they were striving to be Godly young men, Satan knew what could satisfy them more than a broken little girl who needed more than they could give. Satan won that fight one too many times. But listen carefully sweet sister, you had a choice to stand for more. To know your value and expect nothing less than a God fearing man who would win your heart and lead you to the throne. Instead, you somehow enjoyed this little game of needing these boys to need you- all for the wrong reasons. This is a path of destruction and God has more for you than this. So, this is when I step in and tell you- wipe your tears away, suck it up, and get back in there. This time, don’t be deceived by boys pretending to be men. You will know a man of God, not by his words but by his fruit and the words spoken of him by those in his life. God, your Father, has so much more in store for you than what you think you deserve. Allow Him to lead you there.

These people who are called your “family” by the world’s definition of family do NOT define who you will become. You have a huge calling on your life. To be something far greater than anything that you’ve ever been told you’ll become- you are a daughter of the one true God. You will carry his name to many other misinformed girls just like yourself. Make sure to never forget where you’ve come from, share it without shame- God is using it to transform others. To give them hope that they too, have hope in a much greater calling on their lives. That Jesus is so much sweeter than any earthly kind of love. That his blood puts all of that hurt you’ve been through into perspective- it’s ultimately not about you. Never ever forget the God you serve, and why you have the story that you do. It’s about the goodness of a savior who will always come through for his children, in his perfect time. 

I know there are still many more years of hurt and pain ahead of you, and believe me, it sucks. Your tender little heart can’t always handle it- but please please don’t let the bitterness take away your compassion and love for others. Chin up. You are a fighter like no other person I know. And if I can give you any glimpse of hope at all, it’s this: it’s so sweet to be right here standing in the very place that the Lord has carried me to. A place of peace. A place of understanding. It doesn’t all make sense why things went the way they did, but what does make sense is how God is going to use it for our future. It’s for His name’s sake.

Always remember to reflect Christ in the best way you know how, it’s the only thing that gets you through some of the worst years of your life so far.

Praying always, little one.

“Preserve me, O God, for in you I take refuge. I say to the Lord, “You are my Lord; I have no good apart from you.” As for the saints in the land, they are the excellent ones, in whom is all my delight. The sorrows of those who run after another god shall multiply; their drink offerings of blood I will not pour out or take their names on my lips. The Lord is my chosen portion and my cup; you hold my lot. The lines have fallen for me in pleasant places; indeed, I have a beautiful inheritance. I bless the Lord who gives me counsel; in the night also my heart instructs me. I have set the Lord always before me; because he is at my right hand, I shall not be shaken. Therefore my heart is glad, and my whole being rejoices; my flesh also dwells secure. For you will not abandon my soul to Sheol, or let your holy one see corruption. You make known to me the path of life; in your presence there is fullness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures forevermore.” -Psalm 16

joy instead of blame. [what a girl needs to hear]

March 17, 2012 in bible verses, jesus, lessons learned, stories with 2 Comments

today begins a series of posts from men and women under the prompt “what a girl needs to hear.” if you’d like to contribute, please read this blog post and send it in!

_____________________________________________________________________________

today’s post is from Yessenia. Yessenia is a lovely lady who loves God fiercely, as her writing shows. please leave her some love in the comments section, visit her blog, or follow her on Twitter!

[about the author] I am a 21 year old who fights to remember that this is not my home. I like to ask hard questions, because it exposes truthful answers. With just a semester and a half way from graduating college, I’m trying to discern how God wants to use me to change the world. For now, He just says to do the next thing I know I should do, which always includes loving someone.

~~~

This December the Lord totally rocked my world and showed me where my purpose stands. He showed me an impactful & greater calling. A calling that has been there since the day He washed me clean. For so long, my vision was foggy because I kept pulling myself down. My relationships were my fault, my emotions were my fault, my thoughts were my fault, so I stayed there awhile, soaking in all the blame and my self pity, as if I didn’t have a Savior who conquered over those very things. 

Gosh, I hate self-pity.

Recently, God awoke me from the hazy place between slumber and functionality. Before then, the LORD was still moving and working in me and through me, but my inner self was asleep—how that works I have no idea. So, after being challenged by a sermon, I made a choice. I decided to go after that calling with all that I have. “This is what I called you to”, was all that I could hear as I was sitting alone in my empty bedroom. I felt like my insides were going to jump outside of me. It was great.

It took me awhile to announce this. I wanted to be sure that I was truly willing to go after this calling. I didn’t want someone’s reaction or anyone’s opinion to taint my own decision.

But now as I proclaim this, I cannot contain my joy. I really cannot, because the LORD is so good, He has always been good. Without me doing or saying anything He has given people a heart of confidence not for me, but for Him in me.

 

Before, verses like Ephesians 1:4, “For he chose us in him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight.” and 1 Thessalonians 3:13, “May he strengthen your hearts so that you will be blameless and holy in the presence of our God and Father when our Lord Jesus comes with all his holy ones.” were true of other people, and sometimes true of me, but definitely not when I did something wrong.

I’m not used to that. Not even a little bit. I’ll tell you why… Satan is a liar, that’s why. I gave him a foothold. For a long time, I thought that I couldn’t do anything right. I thought everything I did was wrong; I couldn’t escape it. I expected rebuke after rebuke from the Father. For every little thing I blamed and blamed myself, and then, I blamed myself some more. It was exhausting, but in a twisted way the burden felt rewarding. A distorted view of Grace; I know.

Reasons from blame/self-apathy, to functional saviors, to mistaken views of my brothers and sisters in Christ, are what defined the “grace” that I was living under. I was accustomed to having confidence in the LORD working in other people, but I bought the lie that I was too much. But no, never me; I do everything wrong; I feel too much; I cry too much; I love too much; I am too faulty.

I always knew that I had worth because I knew that JESUS died for me and I loved Him for it, but my worth rested on my usefulness. As I failed, worthlessness took over. I put my value off for later, shoved it on a dusty shelf. Maybe one day I wont be such a failure in all that I do. Maybe, one day, I will be who the LORD wants be to be without messing up. Maybe one day, I can love without being too much. Maybe one day, I can love women as broken as myself without questioning my own worth.

Like the overwhelming bout of satisfaction that comes from breaking something in the moment of intense emotions, the LORD has shattered all those lies. He did this through His power and through all the wonderful brothers and sisters around me. He has shown me that not only through His presence and His touch, but via all the people who choose to believe that the LORD reigns above all my past and all the lied and all my stupidity.

And, the most beautiful thing is that now, I BELIEVE it too. I do.

Even more beautiful than that is the truth that I’m not the only one who is worth it in the eyes of the Savior. We all have value.

Choose to look past all the lies; fight for the truth and stand upon it. Choose to believe that you are never too much for our King, and that your failures past, present and/or future do NOT discount the Cross.

Our worth rests in JESUS, it flows from His Love and He never withholds it from His children.

Daughter of the Most High, in the eyes of the Father, you are spotless, clean, and beautiful.

 

[beautiful things] out of [dust.]

February 5, 2012 in bible verses, jesus, lessons learned with 2 Comments

“The man and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame.” [Gen 2:25] 

~~~

Sin introduces a multitude of problems. The right relationships Eve had with God and with her husband were grossly perverted the second she took a bite of the forbidden fruit. I constantly, along with the rest of humanity, wonder “Why on earth did she take a bite?”

But honestly, I think I would have done the same. She believed the age-old lie: that God is withholding something better. She doubted that the garden God had given her was truly his best. That resonates with me, too. I question God when he withholds something from me. And I usually get a little help in that questioning process.

“The woman said to the serpent ‘We may eat fruit from the trees in the garden, but God did say, ‘You must not eat fruit from the tree that is in the middle of the garden, and you must not touch it, or you will die.’
‘You will not surely die,’ said the serpent. ‘For God knows that when you eat of it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.’
When the woman saw that the fruit of the tree was good for food and pleasing to the eye, and also desirable for gaining wisdom, she took some and ate it. She also gave some to her husband, who was with her, and he ate it too.” [Genesis 3:6-7]

Sometimes I wonder exactly why God withheld that tree, why he made it the only one that they couldn’t touch. So I decided to dig a little bit.

“The Lord God took the man and put him in the Garden of Eden to work and take care of it. And the Lord God commanded the man, ‘You are free to eat from any tree in the garden, but you must not eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, for when you eat of it you will surely die.’” [Genesis 2:16-17]

The tree of the knowledge of good and evil was the only tree that God prohibited. Some say that God gave them boundaries because he wanted to teach them how to obey. Other say God forbid them this tree because he wanted to test their obedience.

But I think it was because He wanted to teach us to pursue Him, not the knowledge of Him.

As the man and woman recognized their disobedience, they simultaneously realized their nakedness. As soon as they tasted the fruit, they realized they were sinful. And they felt shame. So they covered up their nakedness. And in turn, they covered up their shame. And they hid from God, from the creator of all things. Their shame caused them to hide.

And then God asks one of my favorite questions in all of Scripture.

“Who told you that you were naked?” [Genesis 3:11]

When the man and woman tasted the fruit of the knowledge of good and evil, it was revealed to them that they were naked. And God rhetorically asks them – in order to show us sin’s power – how they knew they were naked.

We can read about God all day long. We can learn about good and evil by reading the facts in the Bible, or listening to sermons where someone else tells us what God has deemed morally right.

But that’s not what God wants.

He wants your heart.

God wants us to draw nearer and nearer to him, and in turn be stirred toward righteousness. He wants the intimacy of our relationship with him be what makes us recognize our own sin, our own shame, our own nakedness.

We can pursue the knowledge of him all day long, and discover what is good and what is evil.

But I think he wants us to find out from a closer vantage point; his heart. And the way to his heart is through relationship with Jesus based on him dying for our nakedness.

As we are sanctified and become more and more like Jesus, we are stirred toward good, and we are compelled to hate evil.

The evil one wants us to believe that God has withheld something better.

And the evil one wants us to be reminded of our nakedness over and over again.

But God’s redeeming truth is so, so different.

Jesus died so that I wouldn’t have to hide anymore.

Jesus died so that I would no longer feel shame in my nakedness, knowing that it is by GRACE that I have been SAVED, through FAITH.

Jesus died to give me an opportunity to be closely knit to God’s heart.

So let’s stop hiding.


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