Archive - July, 2012

judge yourself based on your opportunities. [twenty truths]

July 27, 2012 in 20-something troubles, lessons learned, stories with 0 Comments

Twenty-Something Truths For Twenty-Somethings 

truth number [20] today from the blog series hosted by myself and my dear friend Kristin! please join the conversation as we continue to unpack our twenties, and the truths we have found thus far. what have you learned? <3 <3 <3

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Judge yourself based on your opportunities, not based on someone else’s opportunities.

 

 

If you’re like me, you spend the better part of the week wrapped in jealousy over her job or his house or their income. You take a disgusted look at your life and wish you had been given their opportunities because you would totally be living it up right now. But that isn’t the point at all.

No one else has been given the opportunities you have been given.

The point is to be faithful to the opportunities you have been given. Your job, your income, your situation, your city, your haircut. It is not what we say about our blessings, but it is what we do with them, that shows our true gratitude. So if you’re thankful in the bottom of your heart, show it. Stop creeping her Facebook out of envy, and start an assessment of your own circumstances. Are you being a good steward of the path you’ve been given?

your worth is greater than what they’re paying you. [twenty truths]

July 25, 2012 in 20-something troubles, jesus, my story with 1 Comment

Twenty-Something Truths For Twenty-Somethings 

truth number [18] today from the blog series hosted by myself and my dear friend Kristin! please join the conversation as we continue to unpack our twenties, and the truths we have found thus far. what have you learned? <3 <3 <3

~~~

Your worth is greater than what they’re paying you

 

 

Sometimes, you get a 6-figure college degree and you end up serving drinks to creepy men for 2 years, living off the generosity of perfect strangers. And sometimes, the only things you can put on your resume are “a disarming smile,” and, “a genuine concern for others.” Your worth is not defined by what your paycheck says, or what kind of clothing you can afford. Your worth = already determined by our loving God who sees you through Jesus’ sacrifice. Your worth = your character, which is built on an identity firmly rooted in the gospel. Your worth = determined by no other person, place, or thing than Jesus Christ. That’s a paycheck I am happy to cash.

16. beating yourself up over your past choices does nothing. [twenty truths]

July 23, 2012 in 20-something troubles, lessons learned, stories with 2 Comments

Twenty-Something Truths For Twenty-Somethings 

truth number [16] today from the blog series hosted by myself and my dear friend Kristin! please join the conversation as we continue to unpack our twenties, and the truths we have found thus far. what have you learned? <3 <3 <3

 

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Beating yourself up over your past choices will do absolutely nothing to help you today.

 

That job? That boyfriend? Those clothes?

Sometimes when we play the ‘highlight reel’ of our lives, we omit the good and only remember the bad. And we beat, beat, beat ourselves up over those things. This has to stop! You did the best that you could with what you had to work with at the time, and it got you to where you are today, right now, in this very moment. Do not criticize who you were; this is the nature of being an evolving person. You are different now, and sure! You’d probably make different choices today. But don’t dishonor your past by blaming it for today. Be proud of every part of your history – even the dumb stuff. Because the dumb stuff (even the repeated dumb stuff) makes your smart stuff that much more important.

 

And we learn to do better. Slowly, surely, we learn.

being uncertain does not make you weak. [twenty truths]

July 21, 2012 in 20-something troubles, creative fiction, lessons learned, my story, stories with 1 Comment

Twenty-Something Truths For Twenty-Somethings 

truth number [14] today from the blog series hosted by myself and my dear friend Kristin! please join the conversation as we continue to unpack our twenties, and the truths we have found thus far. what have you learned? <3 <3 <3

~~~

Being uncertain does not make you weak.

 

 

It means you know the gravity of your decisions, and you have learned the result of making bad ones. Life, as you will realize, is a series of choices. Hundreds of opportunities approach us every single day and we are constantly making steps forward and backward, toward or away from who and where we want to be. It’s okay to feel the weight of this; we should be feeling it.

Too many twenty-somethings are still as frivolous as when they were 15, making jokes at other people’s expense, spending money like crazy, and choosing blue eye shadow. We know now that choosing a job or a credit card or a relationship might affect a big chunk of your life, and might have emotional repercussions. And usually the worst decisions are made because we feel pressured to just choose SOMETHING, so we choose the first thing that comes along. We are scared of the uncertain feeling, and it makes us feel like we aren’t doing something right.

Friends, be brave with your choices. Live in the questions for as long as you feel uncertain. Explore the corners of your heart that are scared, or worried. Let yourself feel the breadth of all of those emotions, so that when you finally make a choice you will step confidently, without fear. It may take you longer to choose than some of your friends, and that is okay. You are fully able to see the forest through the trees, and you know what it takes to make it out in one piece.

It’s not that you don’t know what it takes to be an adult; it’s that you do. Congratulations; you’ve arrived.

12. God’s goodness does not depend on your circumstance. [twenty truths]

July 19, 2012 in 20-something troubles, jesus, lessons learned, stories with 3 Comments

Twenty-Something Truths For Twenty-Somethings 

truth number [12] today from the blog series hosted by myself and my dear friend Kristin! please join the conversation as we continue to unpack our twenties, and the truths we have found thus far. what have you learned? <3 <3 <3

~~~

When things are going well in your life, God is good. And when things aren’t going well in your life, God is still good.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I often hear from friends when they are going through a particularly ‘flourishing’ season. you know the kind i’m talking about — when everything is just going awesome in life. i do love those seasons, and i do think they make any type of desert season a little bit more bearable. but the explanation of their particular season or situation is that “God is SO good to me…”

Now, I know the natural human reaction is always going to be to thank God in the good times and feel forsaken by Him in the bad. I’m often tempted to be the same way. But I have been learning something really crucial lately; when my life is going awesome and I am getting the things I’ve been asking for, and I am not struggling with something I used to, and everyone is being really nice to me, God is incredibly good. He is sovereign and all-knowing, He is kind and tender, merciful and gracious.

And when my life feels completely unfounded, and I am not getting the things I’ve asked for, and I have days of repeated letdowns, spilled coffee, and hot tears streaming down my face, God is STILL incredibly good. He is STILL sovereign and all-knowing, He is STILL kind and tender, merciful and gracious.

God’s goodness never depends on your circumstance. He is good; it’s His nature to be.

Take long, slow sips of the life you’ve been given, day by day. Trust that God is blessing you — through deserts and storms, through winds and waves, through rich blessings out of luxurious excess. Nothing else deserves sovereign credit, in good times or bad.

 

10. never worry about the number of followers you have. [twenty truths]

July 17, 2012 in 20-something troubles, creative fiction, lessons learned, my story, stories with 1 Comment

Twenty-Something Truths For Twenty-Somethings 

truth number [10] today from the blog series hosted by myself and my dear friend Kristin! please join the conversation as we continue to unpack our twenties, and the truths we have found thus far. what have you learned? <3 <3 <3

~~~

 

 

 

 

 

 

Last post, we talked about not worrying how cool your life looks to your followers.

Similarly, never ever ever worry about the number of followers you have.

 

I’ve heard it said that our credibility nowadays is based largely on the size of our following. So people are buying Twitter followers and “likes” on Facebook, and we are all incredibly concerned about our credibility, our image, our appearance.

But isn’t it all just a facade?

It feels never-ending. Who is ever completely satisfied, if we are always just trying to gain more people following, more people liking, more people watching? We are constantly looking outward instead of inward. We are finding identity and purpose in the number of people who are curious about our identity and purpose.

It should never matter how many people want to see what you’re writing or thinking or hash-tagging. You should be less concerned with how many people want to follow your every move, and more concerned that they are finding their true selves and learning how to fit into their space in the universe. The loneliest place to be sometimes is belly-up under 4,000 followers because you realize you are still completely alone.

And loneliness is almost always indicative of something else, and it constantly manifests itself in toxic behaviors. So we must stop looking outward, and start first with our insides. Address the issues of your heart first, with the people you have a tactile relationship with. The kind of relationship where you can make eye contact and tell one another that there’s broccoli in your teeth. Enjoy moments, deepen relationships, eat cold ice cream on a hot June day with a friend you haven’t talked to since awkward bangs and boy bands. Spend the money to fly across the country to feel ‘at home again’, and don’t worry about tweeting about it. It doesn’t matter how many people find you interesting; if you don’t find you interesting then there is still a lot of work to do.

8. just because your life isn’t cool on Instagram, doesn’t mean it isn’t cool. [twenty truths]

July 15, 2012 in 20-something troubles, creative fiction, lessons learned, my story, stories with 5 Comments

Twenty-Something Truths For Twenty-Somethings 

truth number [8] today from the blog series hosted by myself and my dear friend Kristin! please join the conversation as we continue to unpack our twenties, and the truths we have found thus far. what have you learned? <3 <3 <3

~~~

Just because your life isn’t cool on Instagram or Twitter, it does not mean that it isn’t cool.

There is a huge difference between living a full and adventurous life, and telling everyone about your full and adventurous life. Our twenty-something culture has given us some very creative mediums to tell everyone about our full and adventurous lives. I’ll be the first to admit that I’ve never claimed to be a ‘photog.’ I would never put it in my bio, I won’t ever offer to give someone high quality portraits, because that just isn’t my gift. But Instagram has this ability to make me feel like I am meeting the world’s deep need to see everything about my life.

Now, some people have an eye for photography and enough time in their day to take #nofilter pictures of their every move. They get tons of followers and double taps, and it makes their life seem so incredibly awesome because everyone can see how incredibly awesome it is. They make my portfolio look like a disposable camera’s product. In the perfect black & white picture, they have conquered my confidence in the visual portrayal of my own life. And I proceed to believe my life isn’t cool, because I didn’t use that filter on my martini picture, or get enough likes on the candid one of my puppy.

Or, the Twitter cool kids with their six-figure-amount-of-followers, who give the most hilarious synopsis of their day in 140 characters. I need to beat them, I need to be wittier than them, I need to hashtag like them. Or I need as many people to care about my thoughts as they have caring about theirs. I need everyone in the world to know my hilarious or thought-provoking or life-changing sentences. And when I don’t beat them, I proceed to believe my life isn’t cool.

But your life is not measured by likes or retweets or picture quality; your life is measured by breadth and depth and joy and love. I can’t tell you how many times I have admired a friend’s life from afar (and by ‘afar’, I mean ‘frequent drive-by’s on Facebook’) and then later found out that her marriage is actually at a really low place right now, or he got fired from his job, or those two have completely lost touch with their identity. We can make our lives look phenomenal — that’s the best-kept secret of 2012. We can play the part of anyone — and yet be completely empty in and of ourselves.

So put down your smartphone, and let it be. Stop caring about her endless list of comments, or the fact that he always eats at trendy cafes; focus on the people in your life who make up for all the pictures you can’t take fast enough. They deserve your attention more than any timeline does. And if you’ve chosen well, they likely base their friendship with you off things far more important than pictures and tweets.

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