Archive - March, 2012

hindsight is bliss [what a girl needs to hear]

March 29, 2012 in dating, jesus, lessons learned with 2 Comments

today’s sweet post is a letter from Olivia. don’t we all wish we could read letters from our future selves at least once or twice? this is a precious, precious post. i hope it blesses you like it did me!  show Olivia some love. <3
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[about the author] Olivia Erickson is a highschool-college hybrid who has extreme passion for many things, including mentoring junior high girls and good coffee. She writes, tweets, and tells visual stories. Someday, she will travel the country in a vintage trailer with a pet hedgehog in tow, in an attempt to find untold stories – but for now, she’s just trying to stay warm and sane during long Minnesotan winters.
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Dear Little Liv,
You sat there with your feet dangling out your open window on a warm May night and you cried to yourself, wishing for a man to throw pebbles and sweep you off your feet. You were almost twelve. I wish that the one night could have been the only night you cried in your loneliness, but it wasn’t. There will be many more nights to come.
There will be nights of loneliness – of deep heart aches and longings for boys to notice you and for life just to hurry up so you can find a man. There will be nights of regret – of giving your heart slowly, over time to boys where you realize that things are suddenly complicated and you just lost a friend. There will be nights of deep pondering – of questioning intentions and feelings when you’re not sure if you like the attention or are terrified of it. There will be many tears, many racing thoughts, and many desperate prayers.
It sounds daunting, but there are also brilliant days ahead. There will be days of comfort – of realizing that the men in your life are a blessing. There will be days of confidence – of knowing that you did the right thing in a friendship with a boy and seeing the positive results. There will be days of laughter – of getting to be the little sister to the boys around and having their respect. There will be many brilliant days that will in time make up for the tearful nights.
At some point, you will sit with friends as they tell you with regret in their eyes their stories of boys that broke their hearts and you will be so glad that a relationship never formed with that boy that you were swooning over. At some point, you will hear shallow girls complain about how there are no good guys and you will be so thankful that you’ve been the type of girl that makes friend easily with really fantastic guys, even if that means not dating any of them. At some point, you will see not being allowed to date as the biggest blessing of your teen years.
It’s going to come. It’s going to be fulfilling. It’s going to blow you away. It’s going to be worth it. I promise you.
I have hindsight and what a marvelous thing it is! You wont be perfect and life wont be perfect. You are going to think that you are awful and just made the hugest mistake of your life, but in the end, you’re going to come out of junior high and the first three years of high school with very little boy baggage. There will be two amazing young men who will cause you to get angry because they will each accidentally steal a bit of your heart at the wrong time, but God heals that in the end and you’ll learn a plethora of lessons.
So hang in there. It’s only the beginning. Every single tear that you shed will be turned to gold and redeemed.
You will be strong. You will be loved. You will be satisfied.

promises to cling to. [what a girl needs to hear]

March 25, 2012 in bible verses, dating, jesus, lessons learned, stories with 1 Comment

today’s post comes from Whitney, and i have no words — it is simply beautiful. read it slowly, like a nap.
[about the author] “hi. my name’s whitney and i’m just an ordinary girl from the south. this is a little glimpse into what i’m learning while living life here in a broken world. life is messy, but i’m starting to see the beauty and purpose of the mess.”
whitney’s blog: www.livinginthemess.blogspot.com

whitney’s twitter: www.twitter.com/whitneyeburger
~~~
To a hurting little girl, screaming to be heard:

For all of those times you’ve cried yourself to sleep, I’m sorry. I’m sorry for not reminding you that your Father’s love runs deeper and holds more security than any earthly kind of love. 

The love of a mother who loves alcohol more than you. She can help it- but it has a stronghold on her life that Satan gets much joy from. He also gets much joy from you, sweet girl, thinking that you aren’t valued- not even by your own mother. These are all lies. She DOES love you; unfortunately it is tainted by the alcohol, but the love IS there.

The love of a father whose words are empty. You are important, desired, and valued. No matter how often he will give you empty promises- don’t let the desire to be cared for eat away your sweet spirit inside. God, the Father, cares for you deeply. He has dreams for you. He loves to hear you laugh. He likes to see you dance in your recitals. He gets joy in hearing your stories at night. When you feel sick, He brings comfort and healing- opposed to laughing at you when you can’t control your upset stomach. I know that its painful to hear stories and see other little girls get wrapped up in their daddy’s arms- that you desire so badly to have a man fight for you. To protect you. To build you up. To tell you that you’re beautiful. In the midst of the hurt and pain of being let down- You’ve been missing the whispers of the only Father’s voice who can actually bring life to these desires.

The love of boys who have yet to become men. In Satan’s attempt to tell you that your own family doesn’t really love you… that other things are more important, you’ve sought the love and approval of anyone that might begin to fill that void. Forgetting to look up, you looked to the boys around you- desiring to be heard and cared for. These boys didn’t intentionally mean to hurt you; I think deep down they did care about you the best way they knew how. Unfortunately, even though they knew how to throw out the right phrases and comments leading you to believe they were striving to be Godly young men, Satan knew what could satisfy them more than a broken little girl who needed more than they could give. Satan won that fight one too many times. But listen carefully sweet sister, you had a choice to stand for more. To know your value and expect nothing less than a God fearing man who would win your heart and lead you to the throne. Instead, you somehow enjoyed this little game of needing these boys to need you- all for the wrong reasons. This is a path of destruction and God has more for you than this. So, this is when I step in and tell you- wipe your tears away, suck it up, and get back in there. This time, don’t be deceived by boys pretending to be men. You will know a man of God, not by his words but by his fruit and the words spoken of him by those in his life. God, your Father, has so much more in store for you than what you think you deserve. Allow Him to lead you there.

These people who are called your “family” by the world’s definition of family do NOT define who you will become. You have a huge calling on your life. To be something far greater than anything that you’ve ever been told you’ll become- you are a daughter of the one true God. You will carry his name to many other misinformed girls just like yourself. Make sure to never forget where you’ve come from, share it without shame- God is using it to transform others. To give them hope that they too, have hope in a much greater calling on their lives. That Jesus is so much sweeter than any earthly kind of love. That his blood puts all of that hurt you’ve been through into perspective- it’s ultimately not about you. Never ever forget the God you serve, and why you have the story that you do. It’s about the goodness of a savior who will always come through for his children, in his perfect time. 

I know there are still many more years of hurt and pain ahead of you, and believe me, it sucks. Your tender little heart can’t always handle it- but please please don’t let the bitterness take away your compassion and love for others. Chin up. You are a fighter like no other person I know. And if I can give you any glimpse of hope at all, it’s this: it’s so sweet to be right here standing in the very place that the Lord has carried me to. A place of peace. A place of understanding. It doesn’t all make sense why things went the way they did, but what does make sense is how God is going to use it for our future. It’s for His name’s sake.

Always remember to reflect Christ in the best way you know how, it’s the only thing that gets you through some of the worst years of your life so far.

Praying always, little one.

“Preserve me, O God, for in you I take refuge. I say to the Lord, “You are my Lord; I have no good apart from you.” As for the saints in the land, they are the excellent ones, in whom is all my delight. The sorrows of those who run after another god shall multiply; their drink offerings of blood I will not pour out or take their names on my lips. The Lord is my chosen portion and my cup; you hold my lot. The lines have fallen for me in pleasant places; indeed, I have a beautiful inheritance. I bless the Lord who gives me counsel; in the night also my heart instructs me. I have set the Lord always before me; because he is at my right hand, I shall not be shaken. Therefore my heart is glad, and my whole being rejoices; my flesh also dwells secure. For you will not abandon my soul to Sheol, or let your holy one see corruption. You make known to me the path of life; in your presence there is fullness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures forevermore.” -Psalm 16

mean girls and masterpieces. [what a girl needs to hear.]

March 20, 2012 in 20-something troubles, jesus, lessons learned, stories with 0 Comments

today’s post is by my dear friend Dena. Dena is a magnificent woman with a fierce heart and an amazing way with words. i am so grateful she shared some incredible thoughts on my blog because she is a gem of a woman!! show her some love by following her on Twitter, or checking out her blog.

 

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I stood in front of the mirror, critically examining every inch of my form, pulling tight the softer places, and all the while biting the inside of my cheek raw—subconsciously punishing myself for not presenting a more perfect reflection. Sadly, the punishment did not end there. I went about my days, inhabiting a hollow existence—both literally and figuratively. My body was wasting and tired, sending me constant signals begging for mercy—a reprieve from all of the mistreatment I had shown it. My spirit—my soul was empty. Now nothing but a shell remained of that girl—that once upon a time, wild, free-spirited, and beautifully disastrous girl. The girl with the muddy soles, unafraid of the dirt and grit that life presented. The girl who valued her insight, intellect, and creativity far before the physicality that encases it all.  The girl who looked in the mirror and smiled at her reflection. Yes, that girl was gone—lost somewhere untraceable along the way.

In looking back at this season of my past, I am reminded of a particular scene from the movie Mean Girls. In the movie, each young girl stands in front of a floor length mirror, ripping themselves to pieces. Finding a physical flaw and launching into a self-directed verbal assault—this, of course, being presented as perfectly normal. And sadly, for many girls, this is the norm. It certainly was for me, it certainly was for most of my friends, and it certainly is for many of the young women I know today. And it breaks my heart and tears at my soul to see this become a part of a woman’s definition. Because I know what buying in to this type of existence costs and it has taken me many years to realize that this was not a debt designed for us to pay… 

“Oh praise the One, who paid my debt, and raised this life up from the dead.”

A line from one of my favorite old hymns. And it’s steeped in such simple truth. When we allow for it, God steps in, covers our inadequacies, and transforms us in ways we never conceived possible. To put it simply, that is. At a certain point in my life, I had to relinquish control and allow God’s truth to become infinitely bigger than mine. And slowly but surely it did—and continues to do so, every single day.

I once heard this beautiful metaphor likening our relationship with the Creator, to a painting’s relationship with the artist who gave it life. For a second, imagine the most beautiful painting you’ve ever seen—an image so striking, so carefully brought to life, that it stirs your soul and moves you in a way you’ve never experienced. The painting’s impact is undeniable to those who witness it—unearthing thoughts, and words, and feelings that reflect its brilliance. Now imagine that this painting came to life in its frame and looked its maker, the artist, square in the eyes and questioned despondently, “Why did you make me this way?”. The questions turn to deeply hurtful statements—“I’m ugly”, “I hate this part of myself”….“No one will ever love me.” Turn your thoughts to the artist who spent an eternity pouring himself into this piece, loving its creation as much as its completion, delighting in the infinitely special and beautiful work of art sitting before him. How piercing the words of the painting must be to him. I can only imagine the depth of heartache the painter must feel—that his very own creation, his masterpiece, finds no joy in existence and looks so hatefully within.

And yet, is this not what we do to the one who created us? How often have I stared in that mirror and spoken those very same words? How often have you? Why are we so willing to look God in the eyes and ask why he made us just the way he did? Why are we so able to question the beauty in our existence? I know that this world doesn’t always make it easy for us to see truth—but why not question something so pervasively destructive and allow ourselves to see that surely, there is a better way? Ladies, I believe that one of God’s deepest desires for us, is that we may look in the mirror and stand in awe of the creation looking back. That we may relish in his design and see those things within that make us matchless in his sight.

My prayer is that you and I refuse to be mean girls. Girls that look in the mirror with disapproving gazes, quick to find some glaring flaw, willing to shred our spirit to pieces. Girls that are willing to assault and abuse ourselves, all for the sake of some perceived standard. Let me ease your spirit and tell you that the standard has been set—and you’ve already met it. You have from the day you were crafted, until today, and days beyond. God’s standard is masterpiece—and that, you are. We are. We have been intricately molded and created into the uniquely beautiful and irreplaceable beings that look into the mirror each morning. Let us make the conscious, daily, choice to drop this whole mean girl thing, and own our truth.

Because the truth is that you and I, we’re masterpieces.

 

joy instead of blame. [what a girl needs to hear]

March 17, 2012 in bible verses, jesus, lessons learned, stories with 2 Comments

today begins a series of posts from men and women under the prompt “what a girl needs to hear.” if you’d like to contribute, please read this blog post and send it in!

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today’s post is from Yessenia. Yessenia is a lovely lady who loves God fiercely, as her writing shows. please leave her some love in the comments section, visit her blog, or follow her on Twitter!

[about the author] I am a 21 year old who fights to remember that this is not my home. I like to ask hard questions, because it exposes truthful answers. With just a semester and a half way from graduating college, I’m trying to discern how God wants to use me to change the world. For now, He just says to do the next thing I know I should do, which always includes loving someone.

~~~

This December the Lord totally rocked my world and showed me where my purpose stands. He showed me an impactful & greater calling. A calling that has been there since the day He washed me clean. For so long, my vision was foggy because I kept pulling myself down. My relationships were my fault, my emotions were my fault, my thoughts were my fault, so I stayed there awhile, soaking in all the blame and my self pity, as if I didn’t have a Savior who conquered over those very things. 

Gosh, I hate self-pity.

Recently, God awoke me from the hazy place between slumber and functionality. Before then, the LORD was still moving and working in me and through me, but my inner self was asleep—how that works I have no idea. So, after being challenged by a sermon, I made a choice. I decided to go after that calling with all that I have. “This is what I called you to”, was all that I could hear as I was sitting alone in my empty bedroom. I felt like my insides were going to jump outside of me. It was great.

It took me awhile to announce this. I wanted to be sure that I was truly willing to go after this calling. I didn’t want someone’s reaction or anyone’s opinion to taint my own decision.

But now as I proclaim this, I cannot contain my joy. I really cannot, because the LORD is so good, He has always been good. Without me doing or saying anything He has given people a heart of confidence not for me, but for Him in me.

 

Before, verses like Ephesians 1:4, “For he chose us in him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight.” and 1 Thessalonians 3:13, “May he strengthen your hearts so that you will be blameless and holy in the presence of our God and Father when our Lord Jesus comes with all his holy ones.” were true of other people, and sometimes true of me, but definitely not when I did something wrong.

I’m not used to that. Not even a little bit. I’ll tell you why… Satan is a liar, that’s why. I gave him a foothold. For a long time, I thought that I couldn’t do anything right. I thought everything I did was wrong; I couldn’t escape it. I expected rebuke after rebuke from the Father. For every little thing I blamed and blamed myself, and then, I blamed myself some more. It was exhausting, but in a twisted way the burden felt rewarding. A distorted view of Grace; I know.

Reasons from blame/self-apathy, to functional saviors, to mistaken views of my brothers and sisters in Christ, are what defined the “grace” that I was living under. I was accustomed to having confidence in the LORD working in other people, but I bought the lie that I was too much. But no, never me; I do everything wrong; I feel too much; I cry too much; I love too much; I am too faulty.

I always knew that I had worth because I knew that JESUS died for me and I loved Him for it, but my worth rested on my usefulness. As I failed, worthlessness took over. I put my value off for later, shoved it on a dusty shelf. Maybe one day I wont be such a failure in all that I do. Maybe, one day, I will be who the LORD wants be to be without messing up. Maybe one day, I can love without being too much. Maybe one day, I can love women as broken as myself without questioning my own worth.

Like the overwhelming bout of satisfaction that comes from breaking something in the moment of intense emotions, the LORD has shattered all those lies. He did this through His power and through all the wonderful brothers and sisters around me. He has shown me that not only through His presence and His touch, but via all the people who choose to believe that the LORD reigns above all my past and all the lied and all my stupidity.

And, the most beautiful thing is that now, I BELIEVE it too. I do.

Even more beautiful than that is the truth that I’m not the only one who is worth it in the eyes of the Savior. We all have value.

Choose to look past all the lies; fight for the truth and stand upon it. Choose to believe that you are never too much for our King, and that your failures past, present and/or future do NOT discount the Cross.

Our worth rests in JESUS, it flows from His Love and He never withholds it from His children.

Daughter of the Most High, in the eyes of the Father, you are spotless, clean, and beautiful.