Archive - February, 2012

i want to be [inspired]

February 24, 2012 in stories with 6 Comments

i’ve been fighting for time to write lately, which is the absolute worst feeling. but, life is busy and that’s okay! however, i need to find some inspiration. i need a perspective change. i need a re-focus. i need to read stories of grace, hope, and love. i need to hear tales of how Jesus has changed lives because it reminds me how he has changed mine.

i need to know i’m not the only one learning and re-learning the same lessons over and over. i need to know i’m not alone in my heart’s passion.

i need to see how truth has shown up in your life. i need your stories.

so…

i’m starting a guest post series entitled “What A Girl Needs To Hear.”

my heart’s desire is to shed light into the darkness and to expose truth. specifically, i long to encourage the hearts of women — i desperately want women to know their worth.

how has your perspective been changed by truth when it comes to: women, men, dating, sex, love, relationships, faith? how does the beauty of the gospel fit into your life? what event, person, or period of time shaped this within you? if you could write a letter to a girl, what would it say? how would you inspire her to be bold with her life? to guard her heart? to encourage her that not all men are bad? to show her the way her Savior loves her?

what would you say, if you could?

 

are you interested in joining me over the coming weeks in speaking truth? i want to hear from men, women, girls, and boys. all are welcome, as i believe that we all are gifted with the ability to tell a story. please email me your 500 – 1,500 word submission to rachel[dot]mcgowan3[at]gmail[dot]com. along with your writing, please send me a short bio along with links to your website/blog/twitter/facebook/anything.

 

i am so looking forward to hearing your heart. <3

to the one who proved that you aren’t all the same.

February 14, 2012 in creative fiction, dating, jesus, lessons learned, my story with 12 Comments

It’s silly to me that the only words I want to say to you are “Thank you” because it is essentially me thanking you for your entire existence, something you are not necessarily responsible for. I want to thank you for your soul, your heart, your joy – the things which you did not create.

Truth be told, Bitter and Angst looked pretty good on me. I was really funny as an always-a-bridesmaid-never-a-bride kind of girl. The loneliness helped me create good music, good writing, and good art. Heartbreak gives way to so many words, and blank pages didn’t stand a chance against me. Yet I think I always knew, deep down, that you would show up somewhere.

But I followed in the footsteps of my foremothers, the scorned women who came before me, and I dismissed your entire gender. After what felt like the millionth break-up, I wrote one simple verse and then stopped writing for months:

“The first I lost to another love, the second is now a bust.
And every one after has proven still that none deserve my trust.”

And then I was done. I was done writing. I put the pen down and closed the journals. I was done listening to my heart because it had bad hearing, apparently. Every man was just a boy walking around in grown-up clothing, each with the same desire: to get in, get out, and get on with his life.

 

And then you bought me flowers.

And you waited three dates to kiss me.

And you complimented me with phrases like “life-giving” and “a treasure to be cherished” instead of objectifying comments about my physical appearance or capabilities.

And you have gently handed me your secrets and trusted me not to break the heart that comes with them.

I have been proven wrong. And I normally hate being proven wrong.

 

It’s not that I needed to believe in men again – I don’t think that’s the point. The point is that I believe in my own worth again. Your love has shown me my own worth.

I can’t help but giggle when I hear other people talking about love now. They have no clue what they are talking about and I really feel bad for them! There’s no way on earth anyone else feels what we do; it is perfect and imperfect, at the same time. I feel like we are the only ones to have ever been in love like this.

 

I love the way you love me because not only does it prove that not all men are evil, it also proves that good is all around.

I love the way you love me because it makes me feel brave, without abandoning my own sense of strength.

I love the way you love me because it makes me feel strong, without ever making me question my own resilience.

I love the way you love me because it shows me what love actually is, without dismissing my own ability to love.

I love the way you love me because it shows me how Jesus loves me, without distracting me from Him.

And now, once again, I have so much to write about…

 

Thank you for the chance to be proven wrong. I’ve never felt more alive.

 

Sincerely,

Me

[beautiful things] out of [dust.]

February 5, 2012 in bible verses, jesus, lessons learned with 2 Comments

“The man and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame.” [Gen 2:25] 

~~~

Sin introduces a multitude of problems. The right relationships Eve had with God and with her husband were grossly perverted the second she took a bite of the forbidden fruit. I constantly, along with the rest of humanity, wonder “Why on earth did she take a bite?”

But honestly, I think I would have done the same. She believed the age-old lie: that God is withholding something better. She doubted that the garden God had given her was truly his best. That resonates with me, too. I question God when he withholds something from me. And I usually get a little help in that questioning process.

“The woman said to the serpent ‘We may eat fruit from the trees in the garden, but God did say, ‘You must not eat fruit from the tree that is in the middle of the garden, and you must not touch it, or you will die.’
‘You will not surely die,’ said the serpent. ‘For God knows that when you eat of it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.’
When the woman saw that the fruit of the tree was good for food and pleasing to the eye, and also desirable for gaining wisdom, she took some and ate it. She also gave some to her husband, who was with her, and he ate it too.” [Genesis 3:6-7]

Sometimes I wonder exactly why God withheld that tree, why he made it the only one that they couldn’t touch. So I decided to dig a little bit.

“The Lord God took the man and put him in the Garden of Eden to work and take care of it. And the Lord God commanded the man, ‘You are free to eat from any tree in the garden, but you must not eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, for when you eat of it you will surely die.’” [Genesis 2:16-17]

The tree of the knowledge of good and evil was the only tree that God prohibited. Some say that God gave them boundaries because he wanted to teach them how to obey. Other say God forbid them this tree because he wanted to test their obedience.

But I think it was because He wanted to teach us to pursue Him, not the knowledge of Him.

As the man and woman recognized their disobedience, they simultaneously realized their nakedness. As soon as they tasted the fruit, they realized they were sinful. And they felt shame. So they covered up their nakedness. And in turn, they covered up their shame. And they hid from God, from the creator of all things. Their shame caused them to hide.

And then God asks one of my favorite questions in all of Scripture.

“Who told you that you were naked?” [Genesis 3:11]

When the man and woman tasted the fruit of the knowledge of good and evil, it was revealed to them that they were naked. And God rhetorically asks them – in order to show us sin’s power – how they knew they were naked.

We can read about God all day long. We can learn about good and evil by reading the facts in the Bible, or listening to sermons where someone else tells us what God has deemed morally right.

But that’s not what God wants.

He wants your heart.

God wants us to draw nearer and nearer to him, and in turn be stirred toward righteousness. He wants the intimacy of our relationship with him be what makes us recognize our own sin, our own shame, our own nakedness.

We can pursue the knowledge of him all day long, and discover what is good and what is evil.

But I think he wants us to find out from a closer vantage point; his heart. And the way to his heart is through relationship with Jesus based on him dying for our nakedness.

As we are sanctified and become more and more like Jesus, we are stirred toward good, and we are compelled to hate evil.

The evil one wants us to believe that God has withheld something better.

And the evil one wants us to be reminded of our nakedness over and over again.

But God’s redeeming truth is so, so different.

Jesus died so that I wouldn’t have to hide anymore.

Jesus died so that I would no longer feel shame in my nakedness, knowing that it is by GRACE that I have been SAVED, through FAITH.

Jesus died to give me an opportunity to be closely knit to God’s heart.

So let’s stop hiding.